I haven't written on the blog for a bit. I do a lot of my updates on instagram because is quick and easy to do on my phone, where as the blog I usually have to get on a laptop to type updates. But I wanted to update from the last post and confirm that yes I did miscarry for the 6th time. I tried to wait it out to let my body take care of things on its own, but the HCG numbers kept slowly rising and my body wasn't recognizing that I would miscarry. The nurses would try to give me hope in seeing the numbers rise, but I knew that it wasn't going to work out. Since the numbers were rising they had to have me come in and confirm through ultrasound before letting me schedule a D&C. I was really dreading having to go in to get the ultrasound, but after they did the ultrasound and confirmed that their wasn't a heartbeat and the baby was too small for how far along I should have been they scheduled the D&C. The details of all of it are a little fuzzy, but I remember being hesitant to get a D&C because the more you have the bigger chance of having scar tissue develop and causing you to have a problem getting pregnant again in the future. But after talking a lot about it, we decided to go ahead mostly so we could get genetic testing on the baby to see if we could find a reason as to why I have had so many miscarriages.

In the end I was so glad we got the D&C done, because while most people do not get answers when they do genetic testing....I did. Now I can't remember exactly what they found, but essentially they found a break on our genetics at #3 and #13 I believe. They suggested we meet with a genetic counselor to discuss our options and what it means. But essentially the way I understood it was we have a 50/50 chance of miscarrying each time I am pregnant. For some that have genetic problems like these, their body will continue to develop the embryo and the baby will be born with many complications. Fortunately my body recognizes that things are not progressing the way they should be so I end up miscarrying on my own (though, slow at times).

We talked about meeting with the genetic counselor but I needed some time emotionally to process these last two losses. I felt like meeting with the counselor would just discourage me more, because there isn't anything we can do to prevent the miscarriages. So I felt like all they were going to do was tell me all of the increased risks I had going forward which doesn't give me a lot of hope.

In the end we didn't need to make an appointment with a genetic counselor because exactly 4 weeks after the D&C I took a pregnancy test and got a positive. I had had a negative test before so I knew it wasn't leftover from the D&C. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. We had decided to wait and give my body and our minds some time to heal after all we had been through those last two months. We could have only conceived on one specific day and I had thought I was in the clear because I thought I had already ovulated after feeling the ovulation cramps a few days before. When I told BJ, he was in the bathroom helping our 2 year old sit on the potty and he said, "What!? I can't even have sex with my wife without getting her pregnant". ha ha. Needless to say we were both really nervous and had a hard time getting excited throughout most of the pregnancy. Even at the end when I was about to have our sweet baby girl, I was nervous something would happen then. It just didn't feel real. It was real however and we are now blessed with the sweetest daughter and are overjoyed of our blessings.