Poor BJ and the kids have had to deal with their emotional and non-patient wife/mom. These last few weeks of pregnancy can be pretty tough for all those involved ;) Sometimes writing it all down is therapeutic, so here it goes.

Baby Prep
I am now 36 weeks. I have my doctors appointment on Friday where they will check me and see how I am progressing. I have thought we were going to have a boy for almost the whole pregnancy- I even had a dream it was a boy. These last few weeks I have thought it was a girl for sure. So....it will definitely be a surprise for all.
I have pretty much got everything ready for the baby. I bought a cute boy and girl outfit to take to the hospital with me. I do still need to pack my bags, clean the car seat, and find my baby carrier and get it washed and ready. Oh...and practice my Lamaze breathing techniques. I plan to go 'natural' again this time around, but am a little more nervous than I was with Connor since I know what to expect.
My biggest stress with the baby is a NAME. That is right folks- we have 4 weeks left until we meet this little bundle of joy, and I have NO IDEA what we are going to name him/her!!!
The last stress I have is who will watch my kids if I go into labor on my own. It is so hard because we have a lot of family and friends with their own stresses and struggles that I don't feel comfortable asking them for help. I know they would all want to help, but I just hate to ask when they have so much on their plates already. At this point I have mostly figured it out. Odds are I will have to be induced anyhow- but I always like to have a plan just in case. Since I am going natural- I really need BJ there with me. Not to mention, I would hate for the kids to see me in pain. I know Kaylee would really struggle with it. So the hope is that I will have the baby on a weekday during daytime hours and quickly so BJ can be back with the kids soon after so as not to put people out. 

House Prep
Things are finally starting to slow down on this front. I had a few breakdowns with the millions of decisions and meetings that we had to have to get to this point. I definitely don't recommend building a house 8 months pregnant :) A lot of people asked why we are building NOW and not waiting until a more convenient time. We have known that we wanted to build a house for a few years and have been looking for lots to build on ever since, so when we found this lot in West Bountiful and felt so strongly that it was the right thing to do- we just had to go with it (even though it is stressful).
We have our layout and are just waiting for our construction loan to be approved. Our house officially went on the market this last Wednesday. We then had two showing Thursday but haven't had any since (probably due to Christmas being so close).
We are just praying our house can sell at a decent price at least a few months before our house is built (though we don't know where we will go if that happens). I just keep feeling like it is all going to work out and am hopeful I will still feel that way in a few months ;) I know we will still have a million decisions to make with colors, style, cabinets etc.. but for now I am enjoying a little break from it all. The house is set to be done by the end of May.

Lastly, I have been stressed with the best way to help others. I keep hearing about people who are struggling and am always wondering what I should be doing to help. It is so hard to help people when they don't make it easy for you. I know it is hard to ask for help and accept help that is offered. But it is so hard to be pushed away and then hear of all their struggles and not do anything to help them.

Every year around Christmas time, a lot of emotions come up. I just feel so grateful for our health, jobs, and family that it is soo hard to see others struggle. I just want to make it all better but can't. I feel soooo blessed and just continue to Pray that I can find ways to help others that are in need.