I wanted to record my feelings about when I found out I was pregnant. I have a mommy journal that I should be writing it in. But right now it is on my mind and seems so much easier to type it up then write it down. Maybe I will just copy and print this page and insert it into my book :)

At the beginning of October I had this crazy feeling that I should be getting pregnant again. It was on my mind ALL the time. I had dreams about having babies and thought about it all the time. It FREAKED me out. I called my friend Nina and told her about it. I wasn't ready I told her. I don't want to get pregnant right now. In fact- I don't even want to think about it. I told BJ and we decided to go to the temple and pray about it. Well we never got to the temple and then just decided to wait for a while because I didn't feel ready. BJ and I had talked about starting to try to have a baby in December. One day at the end of October I was acting really emotional. One minute I would be nagging BJ and getting mad at the silliest thing and the next I would be laughing about it. Once I started laughing- I walked up to BJ and said, "I need to take a pregnancy test". BJ didn't think I was pregnant but agreed to let me do it. I ended up taking the test that night when BJ was at the store finishing getting a few things for our Halloween party.



My first reaction when the test was positive was excitement- but quickly after I started crying. "How can I love another baby as much as I love Kaylee", "two babies in cribs, two babies in diapers", "I don't want to take away attention from little Kaylee", "what are people going to say" (yes I am embarrassed by that one. But some people can be mean and I worried about how I would take the criticism). When BJ came home I didn't do it any cute way. I just walked up to him and said "I am pregnant!" He was like, "really?" and just got the biggest grin and hugged me and said how excited he was.


The following week I was freaking out. Nobody else knew and I had talked to BJ about it everyday. I was scared and nervous and wasn't sure if I was ready or if I could be ready by the time the baby came. Whenever I would say to him "Aren't you FREAKED out!?" He would say, "no. I am totally at peace with this. I know that everything is going to be ok."



After I got through the first week of FREAKING out. I am now totally EXCITED!!! I can't wait. Don't judge me- but I actually like being pregnant. I love feeling the baby move. Of course having to pee a lot, getting big, and having acid reflux isn't fun but having the baby afterwards is totally worth it. Kaylee is going to LOVE being a big sister. I can't wait!!!