I started having some jaw pain that was bugging me, so I talked to the dentist about it. He suggested using a mouth guard thinking it was caused by me grinding my teeth. But he also referred me to a specialist in TMJ since my jaw has popped a few times and my mom has TMJ. I went and saw this doctor in Ogden and he told me it was not caused by TMJ. He wasn't sure what was causing the pain, but he did notice a lump on the back of my ear and told me I should get it looked at by an ENT doctor. At this point I was pregnant and knew that even if I went and saw an ENT, I wouldn't be able to perform the MRI with contrast as the TMJ specialist had explained they would need to do. The TMJ specialist was very brisk and quick to look and talk to me. It was kind of a frustrating experience and I was not sure how much I trusted his recommendation.

After we miscarried, I started researching parotid tumor's and it seemed to explain the lump in the back of my ear. The strange thing was; those type of tumor's don't cause pain at all. So the "jaw pain" I was feeling, was a tender mercy because it lead me to find out about the tumor.

Needless to say I went and saw the ENT. I stupidly went without my husband and took my daughter with me. He knew exactly what it was the moment he felt it. No MRI was needed. When he explained that it was a tumor and we would need to remove it I was numb. I tried to keep my emotions to myself and process what he was saying to me. He explained that the surgery is pretty invasive because where the tumor was located it was surrounded by nerves. He told me things like:

8% chance of temporary paralysis to face/ear
3% chance of permanent paralysis to face/ear
20% chance the tumor will reoccur (and if they had to perform the surgery again, the chance of paralysis would drastically increase in the second surgery)
40% chance of numbness in ear

He told me they would most likely need to put a JP drain in for a few days following surgery, but that I could go home the same day as the surgery. I would just need to go back to get the drain and stitches removed.

It was all very scary. He said most often these tumors are not cancerous, especially at my age. He explained that the tumors are hard to find as they don't cause any symptoms. Usually the people who have cancer in them are older, as the tumor has been there for awhile. He did say there is a more increase chance of it turning cancerous over the year.



We ended up deciding to wait to get the surgery done until after our vacation we had already planned to Disneyland. We had planned the vacation after we found out we miscarried. I knew I didn't want to be riding the rides with a painful scar. So we pushed it back, and the next date he had wasn't until July 6th. I then of course broke my foot at the end of May ha ha. Oh what a summer it was.

It was hard to wait so long for the surgery,  as the surgery was getting closer (July 6th) I made the mistake of looking online and researching the surgery, risks, and recovery time which of course made me nervous again. I was trying hard to stay positive and remember that feeling of peace but it was definitely hard sometimes.
July 6th, 2016 Was the surgery date. I remember them wheeling me down to the OR and I had to wait for a bit out in the waiting room. I was really nervous because I had reacted to the anesthesia twice before; with my most recent surgery on my foot. But the nurses/surgeon were great and helped to calm my fears.

Ok so this is NoT my most flattering picture ha ha. I posted this on facebook shortly after the surgery:
"I wanted to thank everyone for their prayers and fasts on our behalf. We felt so much comfort and I know it was because of all of you! The surgeon said things couldn't have gone any better. He didn't even have to put a drain in!! Stitches come out on Monday. I have numbness in the ear but that's it. They sent the tumor for biopsy and I won't hear back till Monday or so; but I feel really really good about it all. These past few months have been rough but I'm finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks again for all your help. Love you family/friends!"











July 8th, 2016

This was posted on my facebook
"Today has been a rough day. Recovery was a lot harder than I anticipated. I am more swollen and tender today than yesterday. It hurts to swallow, talk, and eat. 👎😣 But I have to share something that made me laugh. My sweet 5 year old Connor calls my incision a "zip". 😂 With his sweet innocent face he comes up to me all concerned and touches my face so tenderly and says "Let me see your zip mom". I was literally just crying because of pain and almost started crying because I was laughing so hard. Man, I am so grateful for my sweet innocent kids. Kaylee also wrote me a note today that said "hi, I'm kaylee. I love you mom". 😂 I love that she clarified who she was" #kidsarethebest #tomorrowwillbeabetterday #hecktodayisbecomingabetterday




 July 11, 2016

Got my stitches out today and got my results. No cancer for this girl! 👏 Yay!! Oh and next week I get my cast off my foot and get to start to partial weight bare. #feelingblessed #lightattheendofthetunnel #hairyhalfleg #awkwardsuntan

Despite the difficult road. We slowly inched our way through the summer with all the medical bills pilling up. Grateful for all the friends, family, and my husband/kids who helped keep me positive through this difficult time. So glad things turned out the way they did and we didn't have to deal with cancer on top of it all.