Let me start by saying I know everyone feels differently about this and I totally respect every ones views and thoughts on natural childbirth, and I think what each person decides is what is best for them.

BJ and I were talking this morning and after our conversation I decided I wanted to document some of my thoughts and feelings about going natural with this pregnancy so I can remember them later on.

While I was pregnant with Kaylee I was ALL ABOUT the epidural. I would say, "We have these amazing medications. Why wouldn't I use them to help me feel better?! I mean- who likes to be in pain?" And I will agree that with all of my chronic knee pain it was nice at first to have the epidural, because I was completely out of pain. It was such a nice feeling. That however quickly wore off when I didn't have any control of my legs and I couldn't get comfortable. BJ and my mom kept taking turns helping me move my legs so I could lay on my side or even move up in the bed. It was a constant battle to get comfortable, and I hated not having control of my own body. They turned down my epidural several times and it wasn't until right before I started pushing that I could move my legs.

If the epidural was the only thing that made me decide to go natural this time around I don't think I would be able to do it. I mean- I could just get 1/2 the dose or not get any boluses unless I absolutely needed it, so I could still move my legs but not be in pain.

But I remember breathing through some uncomfortable contractions and feeling so accomplished after each contraction. When I got the epidural that feeling was gone and I kind of missed it. I had wished afterwards that I had gone a lot longer before getting the epidural.

I also remember wanting to walk around or even just sit in the rocking chair to ease some of the pain from contractions, but since I had an epidural I was to be in bed so they could continue to monitor the baby and my blood pressure.

Yes- I do have some concerns and fear. I worry about how the experience will be. Will I be able to communicate with BJ like I did with Kaylee's birth, or will I be too focused on breathing that I can't really talk to him. Will he feel a part of the labor or just feel bad I am in pain and in the way? Will I be able to find ways to ease the pain and stay focused without worrying about how I look to others. What if my water breaks like it did with Kaylee and they have to start pitocin for risk of infection- how will that affect the contractions?

After going through all of the fears I told BJ that I know I would feel like a failure if I didn't try it, but I worried about feeling like a failure if I ended up having complications and therefore ended up getting the epidural. BJ said, "It is better to have tried and failed then never to have tried at all".

I signed up for a Lamaze class that starts April 12th. It is a 6 week course that starts at 7pm and goes till 9:30pm every Tuesday night. My favorite part of the pregnancy class we took for Kaylee was how much BJ and I learned together and how better prepared we felt. I think this will push us to take time to focus on our birth plan, and it will help BJ to learn ways on how he can help me deal with the pain, therefore making him feel a part of the labor. BJ is my rock and I couldn't imagine having a different couch there helping me through this. I am excited for the class to start and think that it will help us both feel more comfortable and be able to make a plan together.

Kaylee and I had the best morning. She cuddled with me while she drank her milk. I gave her a ride on her toy car that she got for her birthday from Grandma Scott. We marched around the house. I would yell "Attention!" and put my hands on the side of my legs and Kaylee would copy me and yell "Attention" the best way she knew how and then we would march around the house while she giggled. We told secrets to each other. I would say "I need to tell you a secret" and she would put her ear up next to my mouth and I would whisper and she would giggle. She then put her mouth up next to my ear and said, "shhh shhhh". It was just a good morning.

THEN NAP TIME CAME......

Kaylee is developing her personality more and more in these past few weeks and only likes eating certain foods. She likes fruit and really anything sweet. I try and try to give her veggies and meat but it is usually a big battle with Kaylee throwing the food on the floor and closing her mouth so tight so I cant sneak any in her mouth and me saying "Kaylee just try it!". What a little stinker. Needless to say she didn't eat very much this morning. She wouldn't even eat the banana (which she always eats). So I figured she was just tired since she was rubbing her eyes I would put her down for a nap. She kept whining on and off for what seemed like FOREVER. I knew she was tired so I tried bringing her milk....brought her some more milk.....brought in some ibuprofen....NOTHING worked. After an hour 1/2 of this. I went in and said "Kaylee what is going on?!" She squints her eyes and makes this silly face and just giggles. SERIOUSLY. I take her out of her crib because she is obviously not going to go to sleep even though she looks EXHAUSTED. Kaylee is smiling and happy as can be.

I then put her in the bath and attempt to try to feed her some rice. Thinking she must not have slept because she was still hungry. NOPE. I tried one more thing. Left over noodle soup. She gobbled it up. Saying "yummm" with every bite. By this time I don't know what to do. Be frustrated, relieved or just laugh.

Kaylee then starts shaking her booty, giving me loves, and then started making the silliest faces forcing me to laugh. Motherhood is definitely an emotional roller coaster. One minute I am sooo frustrated and ready to lock myself in a room with the radio up high so I don't hear whining or crying and then next minute I am the happiest I have ever been because I get to spend my day with such a cute and loving Kaylee girl. I love being a mom!

Almost 24 weeks with Kaylee

Almost 25 weeks with Connor

I Just got back from the doctors office. Things are going pretty good. This baby boy is very very very active! I love it! With Kaylee I would have to sit and focus on kicks but with Connor I wake up to go to the bathroom and almost cant fall back asleep because he is kicking so hard. We saw a different doctor today because my doctor is out of town and the first thing he said was "wow- this baby is very active". Yes- yes he is.

I am starting to feel a little more uncomfortable. I am definitely bigger at 25 weeks than I was with my first pregnancy and I feel everything in more intensity than before. I have braxton hicks contractions off and on, good ole' round ligament pain, and just recently sciatic nerve pain (which I had never experienced before now). Feeling these pains now makes me realize even more how blessed I was with a super easy pregnancy with Kaylee. Don't get me wrong, I still feel super blessed it is just a little more uncomfortable.

The doctor told me today "A few pointers.... we usually get more ladies come in with false labor with their second than with their first, because with your first you don't feel when your body is contracting and dilating but with your second you feel it all. So women think they are in labor but they are just feeling the contractions they didn't feel with the first one." I am glad he told me that because I worry sometimes about the menstrual cramps I have on and off (especially recently), so this really helped calm my nerves.

** I also look a little more puffy in my pregnancy picture than I did before. My systolic blood pressure went up from 116 to 135. My diastolic stayed the same in the mid 60's so the doctor wasn't worried. I feel ok now but it makes me a little nervous since with Kaylee my systolic stayed in the low 106-116 all the time and never jumped up. I also have had the crazy feeling that this baby will come early. I don't know how early or if it will even happen but it has just been a gut feeling for awhile. But all in all things are going really good. **

Who says boys clothes aren't cute!?!

I really want to dress up my little munchkin up on Sundays but when they are newborns I like onesies or clothes that fit really well. It is so cute seeing their cute little bodies and I hate drowning them in clothes. I was searching online and found this blog. It shows how to make these onesies that have a tie attached. I am going to attempt to make a few-- especially because the few I found online were $20!
http://www.crapivemade.com/2009/03/appliqued-tie-onesie.html


The rest of the clothes below are from this website http://thechildrenswearoutlet2.com/










I love how colorful and cute they are! These are for 3-6 months or 6-9 months. I am getting more and more excited to have this cute little baby boy! Good thing too because this pregnancy has FLOWN by! I was reading a friends blog who is just behind me in her pregnancy, and she was saying how after her next appointment she will start doing her every 2 week appointments! AHHHH I almost died! I can not believe that after I set up this next appointment for April that I will be setting them up every 2 weeks instead of 4. Can I really be that far along?

This baby boy sure brings on a lot of food cravings for me! They are intense and very sporadic. With Kaylee I hardly ever ate meat and definitely never craved it. Well- yesterday afternoon I was craving pork with mashed potatoes and salad and then by the evening it was Chinese food. Then this morning at 6 am I wanted those circus candy peanuts. I have also craved a lot of fruits and vegetables. Some cravings are more intense than others..... Well, last night BJ survived my last very intense food craving- Chinese food. I say survived because it was touch and go for a little bit. The night before last I had just finished cooking some meatballs for dinner, but all I could think of was Chinese food. We had an hour before the Jazz game and Kaylee was still taking a nap so we decided to hold off and try getting Chinese food another night.

Last night we went to support BJ's amazing dad as he got the Silver Beaver award (this is one of the highest awards you can get in scouting and one that you have to be nominated for- so it was a BIG deal!). We finished around 8:30pm and BJ and I hadn't eaten dinner yet so we decided tonight would be a good night to find a good take-out Chinese place. After driving for a little bit, we found the Ho Ho Gourmet Chinese Restaurant with an option of take-out. I haven't had Chinese food for well over a year if not two years, so I was having a hard time knowing what the names of the things I wanted. After looking at the menu, I gave BJ the list of things I wanted but that I didn't know the name of one of the things but that I could describe it to him. After describing it to him he became very stressed and said "I don't know what that is. What if they don't know what it is? I want to get you something you will eat!" I told him, just describe it the way I just did to you and tell that that your wife is pregnant! After more conversation and more stress and seeing BJ's panic face a few times, I decided to go in and order myself. I walked in and said, "ok. I haven't had Chinese food in a long time. But I am pregnant and this is what I HAVE to have." They just laughed and helped me find all that I wanted and was craving.

We then got in the car and the smell was OVERWHELMING. I couldn't handle it. It was making me nauseous. So I rolled down my window and said, "BJ what if after all this hard work I cant eat it because its smells?". BJ just smiled and said, "then we go and find something that you can eat. You are pregnant and need to eat." At this point I am emotional and just in awe of the husband I have. I can't express my gratitude to BJ enough! He endures pregnancy hormones, sickness, and my complaints better than I could ever imagine. He never complains and does all he can to make me comfortable. I am so in love with BJ Tenney! Thank you again!!!

Hogle Zoo is free on the last Wednesday of January and February, so Kaylee and I decided to make a day out of it and go in February. It was cold outside and I wish I would have brought gloves for Kaylee because her hands got cold, but with all the walking and moving we actually stayed pretty warm and had a lot of FUN!

The peacock showing her feathers with the camel in the background
This was the bath for the tigers

As always we LOVE it when Grandma Tenney comes to visit from Oklahoma, and this time wasn't any different.

Kaylee loved playing with Grandma and having her chase and tickle her

Grandma helped get Kaylee dressed, bathed and fed